


In Low Cotton

by slothesaurus



Category: Free!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dreams and futures, Friendship, Gen, Gou Matsuoka being a damn queen, Introspection, M/M, Pining, Slow Build, Team Iwatobi interacting with Team Samezuka, piggies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:48:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4794911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slothesaurus/pseuds/slothesaurus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Up until now, Sousuke has only ever held on to his dreams at night, but one stuffed piglet from Rin changes a few things.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Low Cotton

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hissorihaka](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=hissorihaka), [Yamazaki Sousuke](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Yamazaki+Sousuke).



> I originally wrote this for the Piggy Day celebration that was endorsed by the lovely hissorihaka but ended up not finishing it yet since I’ve been having an pretty rough time irl lately. I haven’t really written and shared a fic in a very long time. Writing again feels like coming home. This fic is also dedicated to my darling arturosavinni and the awesome yamazakIsousuke who are both an endless source of feels-inducing goodness and wonder.
> 
> IMPORTANT: I have the general plot outlined and key scenes drafted but as of the moment with my schedule and state of mind this is the only (fairly) polished part of the fic. The timeline is pretty long so if you guys enjoy where this is headed hope you can stick around for the rest. Please let me know what you loved, what you think needs improvement or any errors I may have missed since I haven't had everything beta'd.
> 
> This is set after the series but before the OVA. So late summer, at least for this chapter.
> 
> Enjoy and Happy Birthday to our favorite marshmallow! <3

 

He is nothing but wiry limbs and droopy seashore eyes when the world paints his vision in cherry blossom petals and chlorinated ripples.

Sousuke feels his mind turn sticky with carmine colored fingerprints from hands as passionate as they are determined. They pull him like a current and guide him beneath the water, parades him through ribbons upon ribbons of nomex and rubber snapping against wet hair and wrinkled flesh.

His first thoughts of swimming swirl together an awkward and clumsy affair, splashes of wayward limbs against a sea of turquoise ceramic. His first taste of swimming, however, slices through the murk of apprehension in his mind. It is a sweet, tingling trickle against his skin; messy and ridiculously satisfying as he touches the wall and feels a burst of unrefined giddiness wetting his lips.

Gradually, past turtle floats and proper breathing exercises, there are theories and techniques. Metal ladders are abandoned for cold cement edges. One turn becomes two, then three, then four.  

Swimming stops being a favor and starts being a choice.

A million strokes later and it’s indispensable, he thinks, that in this tiny grain of a moment, Sousuke comes to a conclusion he’ll believe in until his last breath and then some.

He takes them now, steady exhales and inhales that twirl around like dancers onstage. His cap is in one of his hands, goggles a sharp mint that bathes the grinning face in front of him an alien color. The face’s eyes and hair are all wrong, diluted into a cold seafoam green when it should be something warmer. But the smile-- _bright and sharp like the North Star_ , as always, is beyond perfection.

Rin is something he’s never seen before. Sousuke admits this silently, behind an old curtain of shyness he’d thrown open years ago.

“Your butterfly just keeps getting faster,” He howls while pressing his small hands on to the sinking lane divider between them, eyes intense and sparkling, “Man, I’m such a good teacher!”

The other boy beams proudly just before the buoy he’s weighing himself on springs back up above the water and knocks him off balance. Rin falls back with a splash and an embarrassing snort that can only mean he’s swallowed a bug.

Sousuke, the pinnacle of true friendship, refrains from pointing at him and only snickers before slipping under the divider and patting his friend’s back gently.

His cap still between his fingers, Sousuke feels the difference between textured rubber and the cool skin of Rin’s shoulder blades. He thwacks the other boy’s back hard, making him yelp, before curling his hand into a fist and resting it on Rin’s shoulder.

“You okay there, Mr. Good Teacher?” He teases around what’s left of his laugher.

Rin pouts, tears in his eyes and color on his cheeks. He nudges at the fist on his shoulder petulantly, but Sousuke only leans his weight against him.

Rin clicks his tongue in defeat, mouth teetering between an annoyed pout and a pleased smile.

He raises his hand into a fist of his own, curves his arm to gently brush his knuckles against Sousuke’s. “Yeah, yeah. Thanks for watching me choke, butthead.”

His voice is a little raspy from the coughing, and probably the bug, but the fondness there is as smooth as it has always been between them.

And this is when it happens. Hand still curled up on the other boy’s shoulder, touching his knuckles like it belongs there, Sousuke feels the fingers against him twitch and glide over his own. Rin clutches his fist and squeezes it tight.

Then he looks over at him, grin wide and honest, “But, _seriously_ , you’re really something else, Sousuke!”

Sousuke stares in surprise, his own amused smile melting softly like ice cream in the summer.

He feels it dripping from his chin, sticky sweet and tickling him like the fizz of ice cold cola. The drops hum a plop, plop, plop as they fill his chest, suddenly warm with a touch he can’t name.

Rin smiles frighteningly honest, sharpness cutting through Sousuke’s senses like the smell of freshly manicured lawns. Warmth unhindered to the point that the water around them hisses into nothingness. Everything fades in a flurry of cherry blossom shards, leaving behind two boys with something intangible and sincere in the space between them.

Sousuke looks down to try and see it, but only finds Rin’s bare feet standing firm. The moment is a dust mote floating in sunlight, small and delicate as it descends. Sousuke’s eyelids lower like honey, words just as slow and soft, “Look who’s talking.”

They are both young and hopeful, high on dreams and maybe a bit of the chlorine, when Sousuke wonders if a Matsuoka is born from the sky and the sea touching at the horizon, where the last dying rays of sunlight slip away beneath the waves.

He wonders if people from this family are actually stars, diving down from the heavens just to swim in uncharted waters and to drag unsuspecting souls along with the next current of their fancy.

But Sousuke, before this moment where his tongue tastes like sugar and his heart hatches butterflies, knows and has _always_ known that being friends with Rin means being swept away by sharp-toothed grins and carried off by larger than life loves.

Sousuke’s never considered himself a romantic, but when the sky sleeps and his mind wanders, he can’t help but admit his dreams are filled with sweet longings that make him ache when no one’s looking.

“Born from the sun’s last breath, huh?” Sousuke mumbles into the fabric of his pillow, soft from too much washing and sweet from the scent of Rin’s detergent.

His mind tells him he is no longer wiry limbs and droopy seashore eyes, but a part of him isn’t so sure.

There's warmth brushing against him, sunlight drenching his skin in a gossamer touch where the material of his sleeves end and where the front of his shirt bunches up.

Here, sprawled out like a lazy starfish and tangled in blankets that feel more like fishing nets, Sousuke wonders if his arm has fallen off.

He feels numb where the pain ought to be. The feverish weakness that loosens the curl of his fingers is different. Seaweed tying them down instead of a cactus blooming in the tear of his shoulder.

A long moment, perhaps the length of Rin’s smile, passes before Sousuke inhales a lungful of air. His bed smells like the sugary lemonade that always sloshed around in Gou’s pink thermos, smells like the light balm that stuck to his forehead or cheek after the Matsuoka siblings’ mother would kiss him upon arriving or leaving. Sousuke thinks that these memories, laced with affection that’s only steeped over time, are a good enough reason for his best friend’s choice in laundry products.

The smell of home, less than a hundred steps from the front door of his own house, is a good enough reason to wake up. Even if it’s to be greeted by a small dorm room where your dreams are lost to monsters hiding under the bed, and the dreamer above you is searching for spares in stars that your arm can no longer reach.

When his eyes flutter open, corners slightly damp from the ocean Rin dove into in his dreams, he expects to see the boy at his desk. Broad shoulders slightly hunched over, bedhead pulled back in a low ponytail, pen tapping a rhythm that matches the song trickling into his ears from the earphones Sousuke lent him before Rin left for Australia, to fix the boy who never locked his doors and always came first.

The desk and chair in his line of vision is empty. Sunlight pours in from the glass balcony doors, flooding the room in molten gold. In the back of his mind, a small voice tells him the room is the completely wrong shade and Sousuke, wondering what that could even _mean_ , finds himself doubting where he really is.

Rin isn’t here. His shoulder doesn’t hurt the way it usually does. It’s possible that Tottori was the dream, and he’s back in Tokyo where he’s supposed to be. Slightly aching from an intense training routine the day prior. It’s possible that he just ate some bad chahan and he’s still on his way to the international stage. Jacket emblazoned with Tokitsu in proud, vibrant vermillion letters. But the small voice murmurs that things are _still_ the wrong shade.

Another wrong shade, ridiculously pink like a stick of Pocky, teases the edge of his vision. Sousuke angles his head to the space just above his pillow and sees a small stuffed piglet toy that’s fallen on its back. It’s plump and round, with chubby little arms and legs and a round snout perfect for poking. Its honey eyes far too soulful and endearing to belong on a plush toy that will probably end up falling apart at the seams.

Sousuke moves to sit up, then all at once the seaweed snaps and the cactus prickles all the way to the juncture of his neck. It aches as he settles slowly, back leaning against the sun touched wall and legs untangling from the sheets. The piglet remains reclined just a few inches from his pillow, eyes unwavering and earnest.

He breathes, deep and resigned, drowsiness unfurling its wings and fluttering away to where hopes lie and nap above the clouds.

The boy stares at the plush toy with the same gaze he’d present a rock in his favorite pair of sneakers, “Whatever happened with us last night, I’m not making you breakfast,” He says, voice hoarse from sleep.

The piglet ignores his wit, still enjoying basking in the afternoon sunlight where Sousuke suspects his dreams curl up above his head before slinking down underfoot. He vaguely wonders if the thing would turn into bacon lying in the sun so long, but quickly flicks the thought away when he sees a small piece of paper the shape of Rin’s cherry blossom notepad underneath the interloper.

Sousuke tilts his head, massaging his shoulder gently with his other hand while his right foot nudges the piglet to roll into the metal rungs of the bed’s ladder with a soft thump. He uses his toes to grab the piece of paper and bends his leg to read its contents.

 

_Sousuke,_

_I actually wanted to give this to you right after I came back, but a lot of things happened so I’m kind of late. I’m just meeting with Haru and the others like I told you yesterday. I wish you’d agreed to come, dumbass. Gou misses you. I’ll see you later. Enjoy the rest of your Sunday._

_Rin_

_P.S._

_If you don’t understand why I bought it for you then you’re slower than I thought._

 

By the end of the note, Sousuke’s raised eyebrows have furrowed. He sets the paper aside and uses the same foot to grab the piglet by its small, coiled tail. The stiff fabric of the its tag is scratchy against the underside of his toe, and once Sousuke has a firm enough hold, he starts dragging the stuffed animal towards him until it's nicely settled in the nest of blankets between his sprawled legs.

“Is it because he thinks I’m messy?” Sousuke asks it tiredly, sighing and staring into its plastic, caramel eyes for an answer, “All the way out in Australia with Nanase and he remembers I’m not as organized as him, huh, little pig?”

A laugh bubbles past the trembling line of his mouth, breaking into a full blown grin at the randomness of the idea. It shifts into something shyer once Sousuke thinks about Rin in Australia. _Rin_ in _Australia_ with his childhood friend and rival, thinking about _Sousuke_ of all people.

Enough to spend money on him and buy him a...pig. “It’s the thought that counts, yeah?”

The piglet stares at him in silent agreement.

 

**\---**

 

The sun is shining bright and gorgeous over endless fields, stark and luscious reds to eye-catching and cheery yellows undulating in a sea of color beyond smudged glass windows. There are speckles of baby pink and cotton white buds peppering the inky branches of sakura trees, and for any person with an inch of romance in their soul, it’d be enough to make them flush in hopeful satisfaction.

Rin sighs as he glares at the rustling ocean of flora, bitter disappointment drawing his mouth into a pout. His grip on the train’s handhold tightens as he uses it to lean his weight along with their car’s motion like a bored, angry child.

“You chickened out of giving it to him, didn’t you?” Haru guesses with a discontented sigh of his own, hand gingerly wrapped around the metal pole between Rin and the doors.

Rin stops himself from swaying and scowls at the other boy, “I did not.”

Makoto, seated in front of Rin and beside Rei and Nagisa, pauses from his discussion of where they should eat when they get to the shopping district once he notices his friend’s sudden halt in movement.

He lowers his phone, opened to a message from Gou stating she’ll be late for their lunch, and tilts his head to the side.

He’s about to ask if everything’s alright, lips parted and ready to speak when Nagisa spreads a large brochure in front of his face while shoving Rei’s cheek against his own to properly defend his recommendations. “They cover everything in chocolate here, Mako-chan! _Everything_.”

Haru eyes the three of them with a look between fond and exasperated, before he’s glancing back at Rin with a raised eyebrow, “Oh, so you _did_ give it to him in person?”

Rin winces, free hand reaching up to card through his hair as he looks down at Makoto’s shoes. He slides his right foot forward until the tip of the sneakers he stole-- _borrowed_ from Sousuke touches the tip of the other boy’s shoe. “Not exactly.”

“What was that?” Haru asks knowingly, smirk slowly rearing its annoying, ugly, _ridiculously punchable_ self.

Rin clicks his tongue and stands up a little straighter, eyeing Haru levelly, “I left it with a note next to him.” He declares with as much dignity as a scolded five-year-old.

“A note.” Haru echoes with eyes that could freeze a polar bear.

Beside him, Makoto is judgingly asking if Nagisa really wants to cover something like ‘that’ in chocolate as Rei interjects that it’s against mother nature to even consider it.

Rin presses the curved edge of his handhold against his temple, petulant pout blooming back into full view as he looks at the passing scenery outside, “They’re romantic.”

Haru shrugs and looks out at the window as well, voice murmuring dismissively, “Okay. You’re the expert.”

Rin immediately bristles and lets go of the hanging loop of plastic to clamp onto the space of the bar just above Haru’s hand, causing the boy to glance back at him as he growls out defensively, “Notes are romantic!”

“Ooh, what’s romantic, Rinrin?” Nagisa chirps excitedly, eyes peering at him over the brochure. Rei and Makoto’s curious stares quickly peek up and over the glossy piece of paper in tandem. Rin would take a picture if he wasn’t dying from embarrassment.

Haru shifts beside him, head tilting to the side in a way he knows is some sort of telepathic switch for him and Makoto to start a private conversation. He kicks his shoe lightly and glares at him.

“Oh my god, Haru, _shut up_.” He hisses, blood pressure going up at the unamused face he gets in return.

“Haruka-senpai didn’t say anything, Rin-san.” Rei points out hesitantly, nudging Nagisa to get him to put the offending brochure away from their faces.

Makoto seems to read the stress in Rin’s shoulders and arches his eyebrows in understanding, suddenly raising his hands up in a placating gesture, “Now, now, everyone, have you guys decided where to eat yet? Our stop’s almost here.”

Haru, content with being silent up until this moment, perks up with the most incredible poker face he’s managed since he was born as the bane of Rin’s existence, and says, “Rin wants somewhere with chicken.”

 _“I swear to_ god _, Haru.”_

 

**\---**

 

The slight chill of the water cascading over him soothes the heated skin of his shoulder, droplets mapping out where Sousuke can feel the invisible cracks of pain are. He stands still under the spray, counting breaths in the measure of butterfly strokes, hands opening and closing against his bare thighs. He stares at the bottle of green tea shampoo sitting on the floor near his feet. The drain’s a little clogged with hair and certain things Sousuke doesn’t want to bother identifying, water gathering around him and rippling over the tiled floor before swirling down through the metal filter.

It’s a simple matter of bending down and reaching for the curved plastic container. The matte finish and hourglass figure promises an easy grip in his hand.

Sousuke takes another breath, mind counting it as the first catch of the water in a 100 meter heat, and crouches down to the floor instead.

His hair is plastered to his forehead, bangs sending off tiny drops that fall into his eyes and drape across his eyelashes. He blinks them away gently, like blades of grass setting heavy dewdrops on to the soil, as he starts to reach for the bottle with his left hand.

He stops himself, hand already curved around the torso but not touching the plastic surface, and lets it fall back to his side, fingers skimming the shallow sheet of water blanketing the shower stall floor.

“What are you afraid of, idiot?” His lips murmur, the taste of water almost sweet on his tongue.

Sousuke counts four dolphin kicks before moving his right hand to grip the bottle, knuckles turning white from how hard he’s clutching it, and lets out a sharp breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

_It’s alright._

He flips the cap open and turns it over, squeezing the clear liquid into his other palm before putting the bottle back down and lathering it in his hands. He only stands back up once his fingers are tangled in his hair, foam coating it in fluffy white bubbles that smell like winter afternoons with Rin and his grandmother, a plate of cherry blossom wagashi the only thing between two boys and cups of hot tea.

_It’s alright._

His neck feels the trickle of something other than water drip between his shoulder blades, mind whispering that it’s shame, trying to snake around his spine like a possessive wraith digging its teeth in.

_You’re alright._

And he wonders if he really is. If he’s really alright and he’s really fine like this, skin painted with rivulets of green tea foam and cold shower water, courage chasing bubbles down the pipes at the idea of dropping his shampoo bottle where the dull thud would echo against the empty stalls to reverberate back to him, vibrations sure to crash into the ache in his shoulder.

Sousuke eyes the bar of soap sitting in its open case next to his shampoo bottle as he rinses his hair, focuses on the scent of tea leaves, thinks of soft petals and sweet rice cakes filled with bean paste and wrapped in pickled cherry leaves.

His eyelids flutter shut and he thinks of a pink snout and honey eyes sitting on top of fresh clothes, waiting for him back in his room.

He bends down and reaches for the soap, breathing steady the entire time.

_You’ll be alright._

 

**\---**

 

Samezuka Academy is imposing and regal when viewed from a distance. The afternoon sun dusts the brick walls and olive rooftops with golden light like halos melted down to color the campus. It stretches past the buildings and dapples on the gardens and surrounding areas, brushing the raised bluffs the school rests on and painting across the lively crests of seafoam licking at the shore nearby. 

The scene makes Gou wonder not for the first time, knitted kaftan dress fluttering with the gentle sea breeze that rolls by, if Rin chose the school for moments like these instead of for the swimming prestige.

After all, it _is_ quite romantic.

She shakes her head and smiles, fingers tugging at her hair. She’s wearing it a little different today, wine red locks pulled back into an artful half ponytail with the rest of it in loose waves over her shoulders. If she were being honest, she misses the breeze at the back of her neck from when she wears a ponytail.

But Gou Matsuoka, as independent and self-sufficient as she is, misses a lot of things that are more important than how cool she feels on a hot summer day.

She looks down at the chocolate canvas of her boat shoes, laces fresh and white, and grips her open phone tighter.

The screen is open to a conversation with Makoto, words just barely visible in the sunlight.

 **_Makoto-senpai - 10:01  
_** _Rin says Yamazaki-kun wasn’t feeling too well so he couldn’t make it. :(_

 **_Me - 10:06  
_** _Oh, I see. That’s too bad! He’s really nice to hang out with once he gets comfortable with you._

 **_Makoto-senpai - 10:13  
_** _We’ll just have to try again! I didn’t really get to know him back when we were kids. I’m sure he’ll be able to go next time. :3_

 **_Me - 12:04  
_** _I’ll be a little late meeting up for lunch, Makoto-senpai. Please let everyone know, but I’ll still be coming okay? <3_

 **_Makoto-senpai - 12:30  
_** _Alright, Gou-chan! Take your time. We’re just on our way into the city anyway. :3_

 **_Me - 12:32  
_** _Makoto-senpai, you use that cat emoji more than I do. :))_

 **_Makoto-senpai - 12:34  
_** _Sorry, haha, is that weird? : <_

 **_Me - 12:35  
_** _No, no, not at all! :3 :3 :3_

 **_Makoto-senpai - 12:37  
_** _That’s a relief. I’ll text you the restaurant name once we decide. There’s a bit of a disagreement on where to eat. :P_

 **_Me - 12:39  
_** _Stay strong, Captain! :D_

Gou squints at the messages before closing her phone and sliding it into her bag. She tugs at her hair again, eyeing the trail up to the front gate of the campus grounds somberly.

“If you’re not feeling well, you shouldn’t be alone, dummy.” She mumbles past a pout that would have Sousuke teasing Rin for letting Gou follow him down the path of a sulky Matsuoka.

She makes her way up the slope, mind recalling a summer day much like this one when she was in middle school.

_She’d gotten gum stuck in her hair because of a stupid boy in class and her mother had been forced to cut it into a short bob. It was in that purgatory length of not being too short that it wouldn’t frame the gentle curves of her face well, but it was also not long enough to tie in a satisfying ponytail to let her neck and head find relief from the summer heat._

_Sousuke had come up to her during lunch with a bento dangling from his fingers, tilting his head at her sour expression under a plum blossom tree._

_‘What’s up? You look mad,’ He had asked while ruffling her hair, pausing and then wiping his hand on the sleeve of her blouse, ‘And sweaty.’_

_Gou had pouted and eyed him with disdain, ‘Boys have all the luck when it comes to hair and the summertime.’_

_She sighed then, fanning herself with a hand and grimacing at another drop of sweat gliding down her throat and past the collar of her uniform._

_Sousuke watched her as he slowly sank down next to her on the grass, looking annoyingly refreshing with his short, unruly hair and light summer uniform. He noticed the curling strands sticking to her face from the heat and the light flush coloring her cheeks, humming thoughtfully._

Gou remembers what happened after, feet carrying her closer to the school gates and soft smile growing slowly. She remembers Sousuke, baby scowl (that would be three times smaller than his current scowls) forming on his face as he pulled the elastic band from his bento and asked her to sit facing away from him.

_Gou had raised an eyebrow but obeyed, heat dampening her usual Matsuoka defiance, and was startled to have Sousuke’s hands card through her hair, gathering up tresses to tie them back into a little half ponytail._

_She had felt relief wash over her, head less humid and sticky as she sighed gratefully at the slight coolness his handiwork had done. Even the aftermath of Sousuke wiping his hands on the back of her blouse couldn’t ruin the fondness blooming in her chest for him._

_‘That better?’ Sousuke had asked quietly, slightly embarrassed at what he’d just done._

_Gou whipped her head around and practically sparkled at him, ‘Much! Thanks, Sousuke-kun.’_

_Sousuke blinked at her, shy frown quirking into a smile he’d pieced together just for her the first time they met. ‘Good. It suits you.’_

_‘This hairstyle?’ She asked, joining him in opening her own lunch._

_He laughed, eyes closed and nose crinkling, ‘Nope. It looks like your head has a fluffy cotton tail.’_

_Gou huffed and stole a piece of his tonkatsu, ‘This is your penalty for being mean!’_

_Sousuke gaped, clearly betrayed before sighing and shaking his head, subtly edging his bento away as he looked at her with a gentle tilt of his head._

_‘I meant the smile suits you,’ He confessed gently, stuffing a piece of meat in his mouth and chewing thoughtfully. ‘If you’re ever feeling horrible, just come to me, yeah?’_

Gou pauses in front of the gates, mouth curving downwards with sadness, “Yeah.”

She’s feeling pretty horrible right now, actually, but not for herself. She’s angry and hurt, worried and heartbroken. She’s several things at once except what she thinks she should be.

She wants to be there for Sousuke, like she hadn’t the last few years. She wants to card her fingers through his hair and tell him that he can come to her too. She wants to steal from his bento and make him wary of when the next strike or her chopsticks will be. She wants the shelves upon shelves of letters between them that remain unwritten or unsent.

She wants to hold his dreams in her hands and press them into the cracks fissuring the smile she grew up with.

Gou squints at her screen and scrolls down to Sousuke’s number, phone warm against her hand as she stares at the call button hopefully.

She stares, stares, and stares. Mind going over how it’s taken the boy too long to spill the truth and heart wavering at the realization that her coming here may have been useless.

Her thumb hovers, suspended on a tightrope of doubt and childhood memories.

Sousuke, for all his strength and ferocity, possesses a voice as faint as seafoam. He is loyal and caring to the point that he becomes breathless, no words left to spare for himself.

Right now, as they are, if Gou asks Sousuke what he wants, will he lie? Will he speak? Will he _know_?

She’s not particular to untangling the currents of emotions coursing through her about this. She wants, wants, and wants answers to questions Sousuke might not be willing, or ready, to give.

Her phone flips shut, casing making a crisp and satisfying snap before she puts it away.

Gou reconsiders her plan, flashes of relays and teams dancing in her head, and scolds herself in not thinking things through.

“We’ll fix this, Sousuke-kun.” She promises to the closed gates as she turns on her heel and heads for the train station.

 _After all, when something breaks_ , Gou thinks gently as she checks her messages for a restaurant name, _it’s always easier to pick up the pieces when there’s more people._

 

**\---**

 

It hits him like a sunken lane divider springing back up to throttle his chin.

Sousuke feels heat on his neck and ears, embarrassed to realize that it’s taken him a shower and a shuffle into his shoulder brace to fully comprehend his best friend’s line of thinking.

He’s sitting at a table in their cafeteria, can of cola touching his lips as he’s staring down at his lunch where the answer stares back at him from a large, steaming bowl of rice topped with his favorite food.

The aluminum is a cold kiss against his mouth and the fizzling bubbles tickle his lips. He’s eyeing the tonkatsu bowl with a look of sheer betrayal, as if offended that it was the fried pork cutlet’s fault that Sousuke’s souvenir from Rin’s life coaching field trip was a stuffed piglet and not something else.

Something that wasn’t just a joke gift. Something Sousuke could keep with him at all times to remember that, even when he’s a sinking ship in the water, even if he can’t keep his own dreams, Rin will still keep him in his.

He feels something like disappointment perch on the crown of his heart, nesting heavily like a weight that colors his sighs with longing. There’s a hollow feeling there that’s different from the empty rumble of his stomach. He feels foolish that for a second, for one moment in this wakefulness that keeps him from dreaming, Rin had--

He blinks back the thoughts misting his vision, rolling his chopsticks between his thumb and forefinger.

“You’re lucky you’re delicious.” He admits to the bowl sullenly, suddenly wondering if the stuffed animal back in his room can hear the cries of its fallen brothers.

 

**\---**

 

“Aww, that’s really sweet, Rin-chan!” Nagisa coos from his spot across the booth they’d claimed near to the front of the restaurant, head pillowed on his arms with a smile that unwinds a bit of the embarrassment coiling around Rin’s spine.

Rei nods and smiles enthusiastically at him, “Indeed! I think it’s wonderful to provide a gift with such personal sentiments in the form of a letter.” He tilts his head and taps his chin for a moment, “Although, why did you get Yamazaki-san a piglet?”

Rin can see the unspoken “That’s not very beautiful, Rin-san.” hiding between Rei’s lips and feels his eye twitch.

“Yeah, Rinrin,” Nagisa eggs on, sliding a hand across the table and tugging on Rin’s sleeve insistently, “What’s the story behind that? Sou-chan doesn’t seem like a guy who likes pigs that much.”

For the second time since they sat down, Rin feels his irritation and embarrassment dissipate slightly. He wonders briefly if Nagisa’s doing it on purpose, and suddenly feels a wave of remembered affection for the boy. He raises his eyebrows and bites his lip to keep the amused smile from blooming on his face.

“Sou-chan?” He breathes out around an escaping laugh, imagining the face Sousuke would make upon hearing that and letting loose a few more chuckles.

It’s not surprising to find Nagisa claiming nicknames and chasing away anxieties. And it's not just him, after all. Rei’s been just as supportive since Rin decided to confess to his plans on the way from the train station to the restaurant. And Makoto, Makoto’s been beaming at him like he just gave him a litter of cats wearing chocolate collars.

He supposes it wouldn’t hurt to give them more details.

“Tonkatsu’s his favorite,” Rin explains as he picks at a folded corner of the laminated menu under Nagisa’s arm, “Haru and I were at one of the gift shops in the airport and I saw it and thought of him.”

He’s smiling kind of weird, he knows that, and his voice has gone cotton soft and far away, “I guess I wanted to make him laugh, or something.”

Rin finds himself gazing out the window and staring fondly at a crumpled flyer on the ground. He’s still got that smile on, and he’s feeling a lot better at having said it out loud to someone who didn’t tease him first and support him second (Haru, _the asshole_ , had told him most people bought diamond rings to propose before proceeding to help him find the nicest piglet out of the group on the shelf).

The giddiness wears off instantly when he hears the distinct click of a camera phone going off.

Rin’s smile drops off his face and he immediately zeroes in on a pink phone aimed right at him.

“What?” Nagisa asks with a ridiculously adorable blink of his eyes, “You just looked so cute, Rinrin! All in love with hearts fluttering around and everything!”

Rin feels his face heat up as he sputters, “I was not--”

“Nagisa,” Haru cuts in calmly from beside him, “Don’t tease Rin.”

Rin’s eyes widen as Haru places the menu he’s been browsing on the table regally, staring at him gently before turning his attention back to Nagisa who looks equally stunned at the admonishment. Rei’s brow is furrowed and beside him Makoto looks oddly wary and exasperated at Haru coming to Rin’s defense. Rin wonders why.

Haru goes on sagely, “He’s already ashamed enough about leaving a note instead of giving his gift in person.”

Ah, _that’s_ why.

Makoto sighs wearily and stares at his menu, bracing for impact.

“For the last time,” Rin seethes, doing his best to keep his hands from wrapping around Haru’s neck, “Notes. Are. _Romantic_.”

 

**\---**

 

Sousuke ends up putting on his summer polo and trying to find a nice spot to pin the plush toy to. It’s ridiculous. He’s on the bottom bunk and in a pair of his favorite boxers, half his uniform on with a safety pin in one hand and a small piglet toy in the other.

The guy isn’t all that big. Maybe a little bigger than his fist, and the material is high quality which means Sousuke embedding him to his uniform won’t cause the poor thing to bleed out cotton from a little jostling, but in all honesty he’s wondering why he needs the damn pig perched on his shoulder like an owl in the first place.

The humming air-conditioner sounds as if it’s laughing at him, seeing through his lies. He’s pretty sure he knows why he needs a stuffed animal on his shoulder at a damn all boy boarding school and it isn’t to look good.

Getting him may have been just for laughs, but it’s the thought that counts, after all. And any thought of Rin thinking of him is still something that counts to Sousuke. It’s not exactly what he wanted, no, but this isn’t the first time that’s happened and it’s. _It’s Rin_. Rin buying _him_ something. There’s a part of him, shoved to the back of his mind, small and wiry with droopy seashore eyes, that still thinks about the days of empty mailboxes and closet full of unsent packages addressed to a house in Australia. That part of him, pragmatic and accepting, knows the truth behind the phrase ‘out of sight, out of mind’. The rest of him did not, does not, and will never know that particular truth.

Out of sight, Rin was, is and always will be something Sousuke has never seen before. Out of sight, Rin stays the sun’s last breath of the day, the peak of his afternoons in Tokyo, visible through his old dorm window and shimmering across the city’s polluted skyline.

So perhaps the piglet is a joke. It’s _his_ joke, and he’s going to tell it as many times as he wants now. The thought is a little reassuring, and the small spark of mischief he’s been nursing crackles brighter than ever.

Sousuke stares at the small piglet in his hand, squeezes it gently and moves his thumb to press its snout once. “Have to show you off and tell everyone who you’re from, don’t I, Ton-chan?”

He smiles at the new moniker, lips a feather gentle curve swooping across his face, and pierces the safety pin into his new companion’s plush behind.

 

**\---**

 

“Um,” Gou murmurs with an unimpressed glaze to her eyes, “sorry I’m late, everyone.”

She’s staring at the booth the group had picked out, somehow feeling the tension in the air, as if things were rearranged to keep the peace or something.

Her brother’s sitting next to the window, the collar of his denim shirt flipped up, further emphasising his unsatisfied pout as he stares at the glass jar of fukujinzuke in front of him. He’s across from Nagisa who’s slouched on the shiny wooden table, mouth hidden behind his folded arms. She can’t see his smile but judging from the glint in his eyes the boy’s plenty entertained at the moment.

Rei’s seated next to the blonde, smiling at her warmly with enough poise that Gou’s going to be hyper conscious of her own posture once she’s settled.  Haru’s on his other side, back reclined against the plush seating and small smirk on his face. His hands are gracefully positioned over a menu and Gou’s really starting to question why images of tea ceremonies skate the edges of her vision when she’s seeing Rei and Haru next to each other like this.

She blinks before turning her gaze to Makoto, who’s sliding closer to Rin to make room for her. There’s a mix of relief and genuine happiness on his face, smile wide and welcoming as ever, eyes kind and slightly exhausted for some reason.

“Hey, Gou.” Rin greets as she plops herself into her seat with a slight bounce, face momentarily lighting up and tilting his head at her with a tiny grin.

Everyone follows suit with their own greetings, Nagisa sliding an open hand to her side of the table to squeeze. Rei telling her she’s looking lovely in her white kaftan dress, Haru twitching his lips up in that fond way he pairs with a quiet ‘Hey’, and Makoto giving her a warm, infectious smile.

Gou accepts the menu Makoto hands her with a grateful chirp, “Thanks, Makoto-senpai!”

“You’re welcome.” He replies with a light chuckle, “We’re really glad you made it today. I don’t think we’ve spent enough time together outside of practice lately.”

Nagisa sniffles and nods his head from behind his forearms, “That’s true! There’s been less Gou-chan in our lives.”

“Well, maybe I’m doing it on purpose since you’re all _so_ exhausting.” Gou teases before sticking her tongue out at him.

“Ahh, Rei-chan, Gou-chan is saying mean things!” He whines and puffs his cheeks out while turning to his teammate.

Gou scoffs theatrically, then smiles before turning her attention to the menu.

As soon as she starts browsing though the mood suddenly drops again, Gou subtly sneaks glances around the table. The only actual negativity seems to be coming from Rin, back to his prior position of sulking in his corner.

Rei notices her concerned look and intervenes, “Ah, so what are you all having? If any of you haven’t decided, the vegetable curry here is both delicious and perfectly plated for your enjoy--”

Haru points at the third dish at the bottom of Rei’s menu, “Mackerel curry with creamed crab croquettes.”

Rei adjusts his glasses, eyebrow raising in contempt. “Haruka-senpai, are you sure those flavors will harmonize well?”

“Hmm, I think we should get pork curry with _all_ the toppings!” Nagisa hums, listing down all available add-ons from memory in his makeshift song.

Makoto chuckles and beams at him, “Just make sure you enjoy whatever you order, okay?” He nudges Rin’s grumbling form with an elbow playfully, leaning towards him in encouragement “And _you_ , Rin?”

Rin’s sour face eases up some at the contact, finger toying with the glass spoon peeking out of the fukujinzuke jar. “House special. Level 8 spiciness.” He mumbles before pouting again.

Gou arches an eyebrow at his dramatics while she breezes through the selection, “What about you, Makoto-senpai? What are you ordering?”

Makoto practically glows at the question, voice soft but excited, “Ah, well I’m _really_ looking forward to trying their green chicken curry.”

There’s a deafening click of a camera phone, and immediately all the swimmers at the table turn as one to look at Nagisa, phone focused on Makoto.

The subject of the photo looks on with an unimpressed expression, mouth slightly agape, “Nagisa…”

Gou blinks. Nagisa blinks back, cradling his phone protectively, “What?”

“Like I said, you guys can be so exhausting.” She sighs, about to say that she’d rather not know whatever this is about when something on the menu catches her eye. She stares at it for a minute before a smile spreads on her face, turning her menu over to point the item out to everyone. “Okay, I have my order too.”

“I’ll call a waiter.” Haru offers as he raises a hand to wave one over while Rei starts collecting the menus from everyone.

“Gou.” Rin calls quietly, leaning forward to talk to her just as Gou leans back to look past the back of Makoto’s head, presumably to do the same.

They both switch positions at the same time, missing each other again as Gou answers, “What is it, Onii-chan?”

“Uh, do you want me to switch places with one of you?” Makoto tries with a laugh, finger reaching up to scratch his cheek as the two siblings keep alternating on either side of him. Rin making an increasingly loud disgruntled noise for every choked down laugh his sister holds back.

The redhead grunts, deciding to press Makoto into the backrest with an arm, finally catching Gou and staring at her carefully, “Was that _really_ necessary?”

Makoto glances at both of them curiously, then at the arm pinning him before he just decides to lean back and take it like a dead fish. He catches Nagisa taking another photo and scrunches up his face, eyes unamused.

Rei immediately tries to swat the phone out of his hand while lecturing him on respecting people’s private moments, inciting a slap fight between them. Haru, unsurprisingly, decides everyone is being a pain and is giving the slightly intimidated waiter what could be the group’s correct orders or just a large serving of mackerel curry.

Gou stares back at her brother before bursting into soft peals of laughter, “I’m sorry but you were being _so_ grumpy, I think you needed it, Onii-chan.”

Rin droops a little at that, eyebrows bunching up as he looks away, “Yeah, okay.”

Gou smiles at him fondly, patting the arm that’s still pinning a very attentive Makoto who blinks at her actions. “There, there. What is it, then?”

The waiter serves them water, struggling to give Makoto his glass without interrupting the conversation. The brunette manages to take it from the man, raising it to his lips as he looks on at the exchange.

Rin bites his lip before looking at her again anxiously, “Do you think notes are romantic?”

Makoto chokes on his water, liquid dripping down his glass and chin, and on to the arm Rin still has pressed to his chest.

“Ack, Makoto, _gross_!”

 

**\---**

 

Sousuke hums, mimicking the sound of the air conditioning as he sets an empty black rice bowl on Rin’s desk. His phone is pinned between his chin and neck while he holds Ton-chan and a pair of goggles in one hand. His other one hovers just above the flatware, his head tilting to one side to test the angle.

His camera has more than decent photo quality, and he’s not exactly fussy with lighting or aperture and whatever else it is photographers weave together to make 5x10 glossies of a childhood or a funny looking cat. The sun’s being kind today too, bright and warm in the room like romantic promises caught in a ten-year-old’s laugh. Ton-chan’s maple brown eyes catch the light and turn a brilliant molten gold when Sousuke looks down at him.

Sousuke blinks and looks away from the piglet, dumping him carelessly into the bowl and setting the goggles just above his eyes. He tucks the rubber straps into the bowl before taking his phone from under his chin and opening the camera.

He’d have to stand or sit to take a good picture like this. Sousuke sighs, mouth scrunching up at the faint voice in his head asking him if he can hold his arm up long enough to do that. The urge to touch his right shoulder makes the fingers of his left hand twitch. He can feel the padded rasp of his brace underneath his shirt as he rolls his shoulder gently.

“The lighting here makes you look fat anyway,” He quips to the room, grabbing the bowl off the table and settling himself on the lower bunk.

Ton-chan stares up at him from the bowl judgingly, either knowing he’s lying or declaring Sousuke’s not exactly skin and bones with the way he eats pork all the time. He suddenly finds himself rubbing his jaw with one hand, an indulgent corner of his mind wondering if he felt a double chin when he’d trapped his phone there earlier.

He sighs in mock defeat as he slowly slides himself down flat on his belly, shirt rucking up and making the skin of his stomach exposed to the cool air. The sheets move with him, little mountains and hills of creases molding around him like a cotton frame. His feet feel the brush of a pillowcase, and Sousuke wiggles his toes against the softness just for the heck of it. He makes a mental note to flip his pillow over before taking a nap later.

“Sorry,” He tells Ton-chan flatly, laying his chin down on the bed just in front of the piglet, “you’re fat no matter what lighting we use. Accept your fate.”

He props the phone in front of his face, lens aimed at Ton-chan looking perfectly happy and motionless in the bowl. His plumpness fills the round edges of the ceramic perfectly and the goggles kind of make Sousuke want to laugh at how they dwarf the piglet’s eyes.

His thumb slides over the correct button, model ready and angle perfect, when a message notification pops up on his screen.

Sousuke stares at Gou’s name filling up the center of his phone’s screen, eyelids falling halfway like a curtain ready to drop over a stage. He was wondering how she’d feel about him not coming today.

He’s thinking of ignoring the message, at least until he’s got a decent shot of Ton-chan (which he finds ridiculous because it’s not like he won’t be available anytime soon) when he blinks at the feeling of his thumb pressing down and opening the text on reflex.

**_Gou - 13:25  
_ ** _Hi, Sousuke-kun! I miss you a lot! Wish you came with Onii-chan today. I’m having tonkatsu curry so I’ll send you lots of photos as punishment._

There’s a photo attached to the text, and true to her word, it’s a picture of an appetizing plate of tonkatsu curry with Gou’s hand making a thumbs up at the lower right corner of the shot. Her nails are seafoam blue with white froth tips, starfish and seashells sprinkled on random fingers, and the sight of them makes Sousuke ache for the breadth of time he wasn’t around to watch her grow skilled at the craft.

Sousuke shakes his head and pieces together the special smile he made just for her. It stretches across his face like saltwater taffy shared at the pier, sweet and as wide as it can get. He feels a tug at his chest, a brief tingle of regret sparking at having missed seeing her today, and before he knows it, his thumb is flying across the keypad to type out a reply.

**_Me - 13:29  
_ ** _Hey, Gou. Sorry I couldn’t make it. Just felt like staying in. Take big bites for me, yeah? Tell Rin to go easy on the spiciness, you know how he usually overdoes it until he’s crying._

A moment after he presses send, another message pops up in their conversation. Sousuke raises his eyebrows and shifts on the bed, toes dragging his pillow up for his legs to wrap around while he reads on.

**_Gou - 13:29  
_ ** _Also, do you think notes are romantic?_

He blinks at the question, eyes darting to Ton-chan still lounging in the bowl in front of him, “What is she asking me for?”

Ton-chan stares at him the way he always has, but for some reason Sousuke feels like he’s being thought of as the slowest idiot in the world. He averts his gaze and considers it seriously, pressing his phone screen to his lips in thought.

_**Me - 13:32**  
_ _I guess so? It depends on what’s on it, probably. If you want a detailed answer you should probably ask Rin since he’s so into that stuff._

He stares at Gou’s first message again, eyes fixed on the first line of text and then moving to Gou’s perfectly painted nails. Sousuke lets his head roll to the side, cheek pressing into the blanket while he sends another text.

_**Me - 13:35**  
_ _Miss you too. We should go out sometime, my treat. The three of us. Just like old times._

Sousuke stares at the chain of messages with the steady hum of the air conditioner lulling him, blinking slowly at the familiar pull of drowsiness brushing against his eyes.

His phone beeps and Sousuke perks his head up to read the reply.

_**Gou - 13:38**  
_ _I would love that! Everyone says hi, btw. :)_

The photo attached this time is a shot of what looks to be several different orders of curry dishes from an angle that seems to be at the edge of the table, all with hands giving the camera a thumbs up per plate. He can’t really guess who owns which hand other than Gou, but the dishes are enough to tip him off.

There’s a pale hand at the far left hovering over a plate of mackerel curry topped with croquettes, thumbs up the most lackluster effort Sousuke’s ever seen.

Sousuke has to scoff at that, mashing his cheek back on to the bed, “Nanase.”

The dish next to it is startlingly colorful with artfully plated carrots and potatoes, deep green leaves feathering the corners over a rich brown sauce. The hand above it has a perfect thumbs up, but being next to what is definitely Nanase’s hand would make any thumbs up look amazing. Even further to the top left of the photo is a heap of pork curry piled high with a lot of toppings Sousuke doesn’t have the energy to discern, but the petite thumbs up peeking out from behind the dish practically oozes the essence of the pose. Across the table and next to Gou’s order is a serving of green curry garnished with deep red fukujinzuke, the hand above this dish is pretty big, but whoever owns it seems to be trying to edge their thumbs up out of the shot. Finally, at the top right corner of the photo is a steaming plate of chicken curry, chopped chilis visible over the accompanying cheese gratin and the light brown sauce. Upon closer inspection, the hand above that one, over that particular dish, Sousuke recognizes immediately.

His eyebrows raise at the number of chilis in Rin’s dish, gaze lingering on the sharp curve of his thumb’s profile quietly.

“You’re going to be biting that thumb later, you suicidal dumbass.” He murmurs fondly into the blanket’s folds, smile pressed against the fabric.

As if hearing him, his phone beeps again.

_**Rin - 13:44**  
_ _I can SO handle any spiciness level and I do NOT cry like a baby, asshole. >:[_

Sousuke shifts again, bending his legs and reaching backwards with his left hand for the pillow still trapped between his thighs, stuffing it under his chin and letting his growing smile sink into the softness.

“Baby.” He coos with a laugh, the smell of lemon tickling his nose.

Another text comes in, and Sousuke’s laughter rises back up at the message.

_**Gou - 13:48**  
_ _Nii-chan’s eyes are watering and his voice went high when Makoto-senpai asked him if his food tasted good. When he said “It’s so good!” Haruka-senpai and Rei-kun choked at the same time._

Sousuke buries his face in his pillow, shoulders shaking as he tries to smother his laughter. He raises his head for air before shooting back another reply.

_**Me - 13:50**  
_ _What, no pictures?_

_**Gou - 13:51**  
_ _Nagisa-kun’s taking them from a safe distance where older brothers can’t snatch phones away. Keep your promise of going out with us and I’ll let you see. :3_

He rolls his eyes and noses at the corner of his pillow, mumbling softly, “If it’s with you two, I’ll always be there. You should know that.”

_Both of them should know that._

Sousuke pauses, eyes going soft and half-lidded. He thinks about what to say, laughter scurrying away and longing dragging hot down his back. He drifts off thinking about suggesting places or activities, sleep slowly draping over him when a flurry of texts snap him out of it.

_**Rin - 13:55**  
_ _Whatever Gou’s texting you isn’t true! D: <_

_**Rin - 13:56**  
_ _Except if it’s about Rei spitting out a baby potato into the drink at the next booth over because that definitely happened lol_

_**Rin - 13:57**  
_ _And when you said it depends on what’s in a note, what exactly are you referring to? What makes the brooding Yamazaki Sousuke swoon?_

Sousuke smiles and sighs in relief for some reason, tenseness lifting off of him at Rin being Rin. He raises an eyebrow at the interest in Gou’s earlier question, mildly wondering if Gou’s been broadcasting their conversation or if Rin’s just being nosy about who his little sister texts. He smirks as he thinks of what to reply next.

_**Me - 13:58**  
_ _Don’t tell anyone but cherry blossom notepads really get me going._

_**Rin - 13:59**  
_ _gashdjgfjhhsk_

Sousuke yawns, finding the following lack of response from his best friend odd. He’s about to ask if Rin hasn’t keeled over from a chili pepper-induced overdose but feels the drowsiness from before touch him again, lashes skating against the tempting softness of his pillow. He ends up staring at Ton-chan, gaze still feeling like judgement from his little cup of superiority.

He aims the camera at the piglet again, this time taking an actual photo that he sleepily attaches to a new text message addressed to Gou.

_**Me - 14:02**  
_ _Look, your lunch._

Sousuke doesn’t wait for a reply this time, eyes falling shut and hand going slack over his grip on the phone. It lands just a few inches away, Ton-chan close enough to climb over the bowl and sit on it if the piglet were so inclined.

The phone beeps a while later, stirring Sousuke enough to make him snuffle his pillow before he settles back down to sleep.

 

**\---**

 

**_Rin - 14:18_ **

_You’re a jerk and I wish you came so I could tell you that to your face._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ahh, a boy and his pig. :'D
> 
> Up next are Samezuka family adventures. I'll try to write more now that I've committed to finishing this monster. Again, let me know what you think!


End file.
